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humor

0 In humor/ musings

What does your ringtone say about you?

For years I’ve hated my cell phone. It always seemed to ring at the most inopportune times: while it’s buried in my purse on the backseat of my car, while it’s finally my turn at the checkout, when I’m in the middle of a hard conversation.

Then I realized my lame, preloaded ringtone was a huge factor.

I needed something that would make me and others laugh. Sic ‘Em on a Chicken – I  found a song that not only makes me laugh, it’s about a dog named Pete.  I have a bichon named Pete.  I figured this was a sign from God.  So, I purchased the song and now whenever my phone rings I chuckle before I say “hello.”

But ringtones are for more than just phone calls.

Every morning I get an alarm reminding me to call my 92-year-old mom. She came to this country from Germany to marry my dad and she still has a thick German accent. So, I purchased a German beer-garden song and that’s my favorite alarm.

 

0 In aging/ heart stuff/ humor/ misc./ musings

One Hour Kidney Cancer

I got kidney cancer last night. Fortunately, the disease only lasted an hour. The fact that I was the diagnostician had something to do with the length of the disease, but what else could I suspect when, getting ready for bed, the toilet water looked liked I had hemorrhaged? Then I realized these symptoms had been building for the last couple of days. Since I had no other symptoms typical of a UTI, kidney cancer just plain made sense.

As I lay in bed, trying to wrap my mind around my diagnosis, I wondered when I would find the time to pee in a bucket at my doc’s office, only to make it official. Then, my husband Mike showed up for bed. At first I didn’t tell him. I wanted to shield him from the pain. He likes me, or at least he tells me that a lot. Finally, I decided it wasn’t fair to keep the news from him. So, I sat up in bed and announced, “Mike, there’s blood in my urine.” For a moment he was despondent.  I like that in a man. Then he paused. “Ahhh, Rudy, do you think it could have something to do with the beets?” Oops!  It’s true. About a week ago, I started drinking a daily glass of beet juice. And that was around the same time my urine manifested a funny, much darker and robust color. A fellow heart patient had reported online that she experienced wonderful cardiac symptom improvements with daily beet juice, so I had decided to give it a try. As Mike readied himself for bed, I googled “drinking beet juice” and sure ’nuff, there on WebMD, the last sentence of a 5 page article mentioned an eery symptom of blood-like pee. Oh, well. . .

Here’s the really good news, when I climbed into bed before Mike arrived and subsequently cured me, I whispered a prayer to Jesus and it went something like this: “It’ll be ok, Jesus. I know we’re in this together.”

Have you ever had a scare, unfounded or real? And did you invite Jesus to walk alongside you?

0 In heart stuff/ humor/ Rudy Wilson Galdonik

Omi Tells a Joke

Rudy Wilson Galdonik's mother tells a joke

I was once interviewed by a college student who was doing a paper on the power of humor and heart disease. His mom had suffered a heart attack and this topic was near and dear to his heart. It’s near and dear to my broken and defective heart as well.

Our conversation included how humor and joke telling differs. Both are effective but for me, joke telling is much harder. It requires memory (or at least it should), timing and effective delivery. I prefer telling stories. Funny stories.

But then I thought of my own mom. She loves telling jokes but it’s her lack of delivery skills that makes them so funny. Enjoy.

My mom has since passed away but whenever I really miss her, I visit this video and it always makes me smile.